THE KOSHER ****K
(Also Known As "My Personal Passover Story")
Passover is about to arrive. I am reminded of something which
happened thirteen years ago. Passover was a week away. I had just
read that during Passover, Jewish dog owners could only keep dog foods
which were free of homitz. I was the proud owner of a dog, my beloved
mutt, Duke, so I sought rabbinical advice.
The rabbi read from a list of permitted dog foods. One of the brands
on the list was Alpo "beef and bacon." But wait! Bacon comes from
the pig. "How could this be?" I asked? "Rabbi, are you telling me to
bring a ****k product into my home?" The rabbi responded by asking me,
"Are you buying this for yourself to eat or for your dog?" He then
explained that it is not forbidden for Jews to possess ****k. It was
only forbidden for Jews to eat ****k products. He went on to explain
that the Talmud expressly states that if a Jew has ****k, he should
feed it to the dogs. Since I had a dog, this would follow the
Talmudic instruction.
The rabbi also noted that this rule was in contrast to feeding the dog
a mixture of milk and meat. The Talmud states that Jews are prohibited
from deriving any benefit from mixing milk and meat. That, he
explained, included feeding it to a dog. Over the next days I began
to question: Why would the Talmud direct Jews to feed ****k to the
dogs? Certainly, the Talmud would not direct a Jew to perform an act
that violates the laws of Kashruth.
I sought a clue from the Midrash (a compilation of Rabbinic literature
from roughly 400 to 1200 C.E). The Torah states that just before
imposing the Tenth Plague upon the Egyptians (killing of the first
born), God told Moses that there would be loud wailing throughout
Egypt, but where the Hebrews lived, not even a dog would bark. The
Midrash states that just before the Angel of Death descended, God
instructed all dogs living among the Hebrews to be silent. The dogs
complied with loving devotion. God was so impressed that He told them
that because they had obeyed with such love, He would reward them. He
would instruct the Jewish people that hereafter they should give their
non-kosher food to the dogs.
This explains giving non-kosher food to the dogs in general. However,
the Talmudic directive deals only with ****k. It does not mention other
non-kosher foods such as rabbits, shrimp or lobster, etc. Thus, this
Midra****c story did not explain why the Talmud instructs Jews
specifically to feed ****k to the dogs.
The first night of Passover arrived. As I began to eat the Seder
meal, I thought to myself, that this was the first time I had ever
attended a Seder which had truly kosher food. And I thought of my dog
at home, eating his beef and bacon. Suddenly! The answer came to me
in a flash: We are told to feed ****k to the dogs because ****k is
Kosher for dogs! The Talmud does not tell us to feed ****k to Gentiles.
The laws of Kashruth do not apply to Gentiles. However, the Talmud
gives us a directive to feed ****k to the dogs, so it must be that ****k
is a kosher food for dogs! (When I returned home, I had to tell Duke,
"Sorry, boy, no more cheeseburgers. But here, enjoy a kosher ham
sandwich! Oh, by the way, Duke, since it is Passover, your ham
sandwich is with Matzo!")
In conclusion, while ****k is certainly not Kosher for a Jew to eat, it
is Kosher for our beloved pooches. Thus, by feeding ****k to our dogs,
we are actually helping them to keep Kosher! A Mitzvah in and of
itself!
A very joyous and Kosher Passover for you - and for your dogs!
P.S.: Duke passed away three years ago. I have since adopted a new
dog, another beloved mutt, who I've named ****nik , so I have this
issue again. Now I am wondering: Do we have to make sure that the pig
was properly slaughtered in a kosher manner, and that it was salted
and soaked? Do we need a Shochret? I'll just have to ask my Rabbi!!
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