MacDonald's Angus Burger (deluxe edition)

Straight-faced review follows:

Well, the lettuce and sliced red onion were very crisp.  The one tomato 
slice they gave me was also quite fresh, but about 1/4 the size of the 
beef patty.  Lots of mayo, but *no* catsup or muss-tard is apparently 
standard.  One slice of  processed cheese on either side of the patty 
(generous).  Bun was of  the toasted sesame seed variety and not as 
doughy as those "toy-buns" they put the regular burgers on.

The patty gets it's own paragraph.

Is this the Angus beef experience?  Chewy, granular, almost rubbery 
mouth feel.  It melts in your mouth but only to an extent, at which 
point it reaches stasis as beef pellets that refuse to be properly 
masticated.  Taste was griddle-fried and then... I don't even know... 
reheated in some sort of gamma-vector dark energy oven that even the 
military knows nothing about.  And a dash of salt.  By the end I had 
exhausted my supply of fresh toppings and condiments, so it was just me 
and the cobbled edge of this "Angus" patty.  It suddenly struck me that 
this was nothing but a dressed up 1/3 pound version of their awful and 
ancient 1/4 pounder!  Ah, KRRRRAAAAP!

Feeling a little duped, I calmly dumped my nearly-full Coke in the trash 
and left a potentially ominous and essentially meaningless arrangement 
of french fries on the table before exiting.

-- 
Albert Worschey