Jerry Sauk <jerrysauk@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> My brother Jesse eats Fast food once every other week at the MOST,
and
> I'm almost twice as heavy as he is. There's NO WAY IN HELL I'm
> mal-nutrioned.
I think it's time to re-instate the 'Book of Saukrates'.
The Book of Saukrates - Version 1.00 Final - 04/20/2008
Due to the death of Jerry Sauk in early March, this is the final
version of of the BoS. There is somebody who is still posting as
Jerry Sauk who, but it's not the Genuine Dumbass Jerry. Do not
be taken in.
This book is dedicate to Jerry, of course. His stupidity will live on
in this do***ent.
Jerry Sauk on Hygiene and Diet:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I *AM* FAT, LAZY AND SLOVENLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's
your point????
I eat more in week then you probably do in Two Months!!!!!!!!!!!!
because when I order food for four people it's actually just for one
person
All I have to do is not shower for a week and eat bean burritos the day
before. I'll knock out the whole crowd, in fact my brothers "banned" me
from eating bean burritos.
And you can't live on just Nacho's alone, you need other food like
Taco's and burritos.
I really don't think it's possible for me to get sick of Nacho's, I've
been eating them non-stop for the last 25 years.
I can eat three [foot-long Subway] sandwiches for one meal!
+chips/soda/cookies etc
Don't forget you have to wash/dry your hands also when your done wa****ng
the dishes. I'm pretty sure they wash thier hands several times a day,
even though it's a waste of time/water.
Soda is not sugar water. It doesn't even half sugar in it at all, it's
corn syrop. And even if it WAS real sugar, then it's STILL not just
sugar because they add many multiple other flavar's to each different
soda, that's why they all taste different.
Currently, my eating shedule is as follows for weekdays: Something for
breakfast before work.. a fast food place or donuts and snacks from the
gas station. For lunch, sandwiches that I make from stuff I bring in my
lunchbox, or a subway sandwich I bought the day before, +snacks from the
vending machine. (soda from home) For dinner, I am now able (and pretty
much required) to eat with my family at home about 5:00 For the final
evening meal before bed, a fast-food run. (ie mcdonalds/taco
bell/wendy's or a papa-johns/dominoes with the brothers etc)
Jerry the Doktor:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"What the hell?? I've noticed the same thing too. I don't know the
science or anything but when I have an entire pizza right before beditme
I often wake up absolutely starving."
Steve wrote: You don't have the balls.
Jerry responds: I don't have a need to.
But If your body isn't at 98 degrees, then your not alive.
If I was dead, i'd be the first to know.
Nobody drinks water.
Jerry Sauk on Intelligence:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of the billion's of people on the internet I can't believe I'm the
dumbest.
That paragraph is unitellagible, so you need to improve your grammer
Your going tohave to learn some basic common sence and reading skiils if
this discussion is gonig to continue.
BTW I'm a high school graduate. Kiss my ass. [Editors Note: Jerry did
indeed graduate from Green Bay East High Schoo]
That's why everyone is always mean to me. It's because they envy me.
JUST HOW STUPID DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM, STEVE. It never amazes me how
retarted you people are.
Please learn to tell the difference between realty and your imagination.
Jerry defending his Spelling: Jim Asked: Why would your "speller
checker" have flagged awkward and not have flagged "approptirate"
or "majar" ? Jerry Responds: Because I didn't CHECk those words. I only
checked awkward because I hadno idea how to spell it.
You've been saying a lot fo dumb things lately.
It's not cu***bers, it's relish. Once it's made into a condiment, it's
not considered a "veggie" anymore.
Philosophy by Saukrates, and other pearls of assorted wisdom.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I LOVE fast food steve. If you insult it, your insulting me.
Fast-Food IS real food, that's why it's called FOOD Ewvery damn culture
on the planet involves food, well, fast- food is a part of my personal
culture and is therefore a huge part of my life.
I'm the most humble person on theis damn group,
You know, you don't have to eat the burger end-to-end. Once I get just a
little past half-way I turn the burger and switch to corner-to-corner so
I can specifically avoid that problem. And I end up with meatless bun
less then the size of a dime, which I can easily eat or cheaper to throw
out.
[Jerry getting frustrated when nobody respondes to his Usenet posts]
"why is nobody responding? I pay more than $20 a month for this, plus 5
for supernews!"
I'll only admit I'm wrong if I actually AM wrong, which is rare.
I reserve the right to discuss fast-food in this group free of prejudice
harassment.
Somtimes the troll's here are so quick to point out your an idiot, even
when their the ones making the mistake's in the first place. I've
learned to ignore it.
SO WHAT'S WITH THE UNPROVOKED HOSTILITY???
Those are what I said they are.. chicken SANDWICHES, which I do
occaisionally eat because they don'th ave bones in them, and are thus
much easier to eat. And they taste better then real chicken anyway.
And also I'm sick of the extremely unprofessional behavior by the
teen-age night crew at Subway... it has come to my attention that they
have given me a nickname and I accidently overheard it. This is
unnacceptable, how can they be so unprofessional to the people who are
providing them with the money for their paycheck? [Editors Note: My
sources at Subway have informed me that that nickname was "Batman" since
Jerry dresses like a goth - probably paints his face white, too]
[On the TAco Hell Drive-Through:] They said that there was too much
fumes coming from my car and it was gassing out the employee's in the
windows, and they said customers sometimes complained. They also said
the engine was too loud and they could never hear my order or the person
in front of me's. Due to modern technology, they should be able to solve
this problem with some sort of inexpensive noise filter. I told them to
go to hell and I was never coming back. My Taco Bell consumption will
definitely decrease, whenever I DO go it will always be to another
location.
when you live with your parents you need to have a place of your own
away from home. For me it's my car. Only thing that sucks about it is
It's VERY difficult to drive whenever it's raining, for some reason
whenever it rains once the car starts moving I can't stop it, because if
I stop the engine dies and it won't restart until the next day. So I
have to alter my directions to busy stoplights, and go thru stopsigns
real slow hopefully no traffic is coming. I had a big problem last year
when th eproblem first started, I thought I could make it thru the
drive-thru at Taco Bell by hitting the brakes and the gas at the same
time, but there was too much traffic there that I messed up and it
stalled right by the order box. (the drive through has curbs so all the
traffic was stuck) This was the same Taco Bell that I currently boycott.
Anyway I couldn't get it started because of the rain, so three Taco Bell
guys had to come out and push my car away in the rain. When they pushed
me passed the window, I hit the brakes to stop and get my food, and the
three guys got really mad and said some less then proffessional remarks
to me. This was the first day I knew the manager there on a
first-name-basis.
And it's kinda fun to argue with Steve sometimes because he's so slow,
and I admit he's one of the few people on the Internet that I can always
gauranteed win an arguement with.
Jerry on Employment:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sure I've had more jobs in the last five years then you've had in
your entire life!
Jerry the Lawyer:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Taco Bell is Public Property. Otehrwise they wouldd have no trepassing
signs.
Uhhh.... private companies can own and operate public property...
NAD FOR THE THIRD TIME, I was not banned from Taco Bell, I BOYCOTTED
that one store because I was "banned" from the drive-thru.
Lifestyle, Jerry-style:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I am VERY happy with my drive-thru lifstyle. But there is NO lifestyle,
and you know it, that doesn't have it's annoyance's.
Fast-food is a majar part of my lifestyle/culture and I'm happy with it,
because it's delicious. Being fat has nothing to do with it, there's a
lot of people who eat tons of fast-food and isn't fat.
Tavo Bell is a majar part of my daily personal culture, so of course
when there's a change to it unjustly, and people are affected, it
results in at least SOME part of suffering.
Get a life. Fast-food places are fascinating cultural centers.
It's just proof that it's exceptible for some culture's to throw
fast-food bags in the back seat and dispose of them all at once.
[Jerry on wa****ng dishes:] It takes me 0.5 seconds to toss my used taco
bell bag into the back seat.
Jerry, King of the Drive-Thru
----------------------------------------------------------------------
the family should have actually gone INSIDE the store and let single
people like me have exclusive use of the drive-thru.
Jerry on Relation****ps:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote: I care about you, Jerry.
Jerry responds: Are drinking tonight?????????????????????????????
a few years back, when I had my own place, I came over for thanksgiving
and brought pizza, well when they saw it they thought it was for
everyone and to make a long story short there was a big fight..
[OP:] You have no idea what you are missing out on by refusing to leave
your car. [Jerry Response:] Sure I do. Screaming kids, abusive fast-food
workers, dirty tables, standing in line, having to use manners, the list
goes on and on.
That does it. One more insult, and your going back to my killfile.
Consider yourself warned.
Every family has thier own tradtiond, but the basics are FOOD..... ..
and LOTS OF IT.
How can you POSSIBLE brag to have as much success with human females as
you do yet still have the time to waste your time on crap like this
[referring to the Book of Saukisms].
[Referring to his dining alone because otherwise he'd have to use
"manners"] Be honest, Paco, tell me that you never farted while eating
alone. And let me guess... it didn't stink of course.
[POsted by his brother in another group] I love my brother but he's fat,
stupid, works (occasionally) in a restaurant, is 28 and just moved back
home.
Unsorted quotes:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fast-food is DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS,
DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS,
DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS,
DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS
I'm taking my car less and less becuase it's current top speed is about
30 MPH
Posted as "Jenny Squire (jerrysauk@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
): to the Goth Fa****on
forum: How do goths get such pale skin? Do you take a lot of vitamin c
supplements or do you use some sort of makeup?
Dead Lobster Lard Ass Doughnuts
-sw
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