"Tony Raven" <junk@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:lYWdnQSgw4rG6lrbnZ2dnUVZ8vmdnZ2d@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 23:42:46 +0100, I enjoy evicting chavs.... wrote:
>
>>
>> The art lies in being instantly recognisable, whilst still overcoming
>> killfiles. My posts are, you see, of such quality that I'd hate you to
>> miss them.
>>
>
> Ah, a professional troll. Time for the professional troll filters.
>
> <plonk>
I;m sorry, I apologise for the confusion - I had assumed that there could
be
no misunderstanding about my status, but I was obviously wrong.
Good heavens!! - of course I'm a troll (and, although I say it myself, not
just *any* old troll - not the common or garden sort who post inane one
line
messages and then flit away to another group!
I detest them probably more than you do.
No, I'm a true troll - a career troll - one who has suffered for his art,
and for whom trolling is not a mere pastime but a vocation.
I come from a proud lineage of trolls - father was a troll, his father
before him was a troll, his father before him, his father before him, his
father before him.......and so on. One of my ancestors trolled at
Agincourt, while others were present at many of the notable events in
England's history. It is said in the family that the great fire of London
was, in fact, he result of some trolling that got out of hand in pudding
lane.
It was Samuel Johnson, who, after meeting with my slightly singed forebear
in a Fleet Street coffee house, remarked to Boswell that 'every man
thinketh
less of himself for not having been born a Troll"
Yet another of my forebears was inadvertently responsible for the death of
King Charles the First (bless his memory) by using his position as court
troll to persuade his majesty to continue trolling in front of Cromwell
and
Fairfax.
Sadly, these dour gentlemen had the same morbid fear of trolls that
appears
to afflict you - and it was the King's trolling antics when at the (
highly
illegal) hearings convened to 'try' him that finally led him to that
chilly
scaffold in Whitehall
As for me, I was born troll, baptised in the church of St Troll the
Martyr
( which, actually, is a cryptic reference to Charles l), educated as a
troll, met and fell in love with a troll, and was married beneath the
Bridge
of Trolls in Sutherland while guests of the McTroll clan from Inverness.
We spent our wedding night in Troll Castle near Pitlochry - and we still
laugh to this day about the ***ual inexperience that led me to waste half
the night penetrating a wild Haggis until I finally relalised my mistake!
(*** education was rudimentary, to say the least, in those days -
particularly so in Troll schools)
I gained employment as a troll after leaving Troll University - and now
occupy a senior position on the British Board Of Trolling Control - in
which
capacity I regularly attend conferences and seminars on the art of
trolling,
and am also currently in the process of signing a film deal for my
acclaimed (amongst trolls) book, "A Bridge To Mar'
When my trolling days are done I hope to be laid to rest in a leafy corner
of Troll Acres, where my body can finally rest while my trollish spirit
soars to meet my ancestors n Troll heaven - where the trolling will
continue
forever, and without end!
So, yes, just in case you were wondering, I'm a Troll. Definitely.
|
