Right...
This is fun. Remember how Eric had skipped taking his Sunday afternoon
walk
with Upton, because he wanted to talk to Russell? Well Upton decided to
teach Eric a lesson by totally ignoring him whenever they met. I guess he
just flounced by, his nose in the air.
Eric, for his part thought Upton was being silly taking this attitude, and
also sniffed, and looked the other way.
This amused the other boys greatly because such spats and tantrums between
these older boys and their little pets were common enough and didn;t last
long really. I suppose there were tearful reconciliations in the private
studies.
..
This time Eric gave in first and slipped a little missive under Upton's
door: darling Horace, don't be such a silly-billy and start talking to me
again, please! I will be waiting for you after prayers, kissy-kissy...
..
'You are a good kid!' Upton told Eric when they met, slapping him on the
back and chucking him under the chin. 'What's new?'
'Such larks!' Eric enthused, clapping his hands delightedly. 'The doctor
is
going to a dinner party tonight and we expect to have no end of fun after
lights out.'
'Oh yes?' asked Upton. 'Well if it gets interesting, pop up and get me and
I'll come and join in...'
Oh! Shocking! Eric is being set up again.
..
It was Mr Rose's night for putting the boys to bed, and after he had
toured
the rooms, he put out the candles and returned to his own quarters
thinking
the lads seemed very subdued this evening. Foolish man, that should have
told him they were either up to No Good or had been struck down by some
dreadful contagious disease.
..
In no time at all the sconces were relit and the boys all da****ng about
secure in the knowledge that the headmaster wouldn;t come popping out from
behind his door to break up their fun. After a few minutes of general
argy-bargy some idiot suggested they play at 'theatricals' and someone
suggested setting a look-out, just in case, so little Wright was sent to
****ver at the top of the main stairs while the rest of the boys set up the
scene for Bombastes Furioso... What the heck is that?
Ah, " It is a drama with comic songs, that satirizes the bombastic style
of
other tragedies that were in fa****on at the time. " Thank you, Wiki, and
here is the plot. It looks jolly good to me.
"King Artaxaminous wishes to divorce his wife Griskinissa, and marry
Distaffina. Distaffina, however, is betrothed to General Bombastes.
Artaxaminous promises Distaffina "half a crown" if she will forsake the
general for him. Distaffina is unable to resist, and abandons Bombastes.
When the general learns of this, he goes mad, hangs his boots on the
branch
of a tree, and challenges anyone who would remove them. Artaxaminous cuts
the boots down, and the general kills him. Fusbos, coming upon this, kills
Bombastes. At the end of the drama, the dead men jump up promise "to die
again to-morrow," if the audience desires it."
..
Well, this is the play the boys acted out, and at the end little Wright
appeared complaining that he was freezing to death and missing all the fun
and wasn;t it time for someone else to freeze their nuts off on the
landing?
'Oh, I'll go,' laughed Eric, but after ten seconds of sitting in the dark
he
decided there was no danger of them being discovered so popped up to see
Upton instead.
'Deserted your post?' Upton asked when Eric told him the details. 'That's
not on. Tell you what, prop a tin bath against the door of the bogs. If
anyone opens the door it will make a terrific racket and warm the chaps to
jump back into bed.'
'Capital idea!' gushed Eric. 'You are so clever Horace..'
(Actually, what Upton REALLY said was: "there'll be lots of time to
'extinguish the superfluous abundance of the nocturnal illuminators" bit I
couldn't make up my mind whether the writer was taking the piss or trying
to
educate us.
..
The bath was placed and Upton joined the younger boys who were delighted
to
have him among them. Including Russell? I bet.
..
They decided to 'do' Macbeth... Oh dear... That is tempting fate, that is.
A
large sheet had been pinned across the room and one of the boys was
pu****ng
the handle of a broken dinner knife through a hole in the sheet (hmmmm)
and
another was declaiming 'Is that dagger that I see before me?' but
everytime
he went to grasp the dagger it was snatched back again which ticked the
boys until they were howling with laughter.
Suddenly they heard a loud CLANG!
'Cave!' Eric called and everyone scattered, tearing down sheets and
blowing
out candles as they went.
It was not Mr Rose who entered the dorms, it was Doctor Rowlands himself.
He
heard only a silence broken by steady breathing. He saw a torn bedsheet in
the middle of the floor and beds pushed into strange positions. He also
heard a galloping of feet and turning, was just in time to catch sight of
Upton returning to the upper reaches.
Rowlands said not a word, but walked through the dorms until he reached
number seven. In there Duncan was snoring his head off. It all sounded
very
suspicious to the doctor so he woke him up.
..
Duncan took some waking, despite being warned to stop shamming because it
was doing him no good. So good was his act of sleepy innocence that Eric,
gave a snort of suppressed laughter.
The tiger pounced.
'Williams! Here, this instance!' and Eric obeyed, still in his Bombastes
Furioso crimson girdle, and with a large corked beard on his chin. This
was
too much for Duncan who started rolling about and hooting.
Faint sniggers came from the other beds.
'I SEE!' snapped Rowlands. 'You pair! My office, in the morning!' and
marched off to the row of study doors, hammering on each one in turn and
demanding the occupants come out and be counted.
'Blimey!' whispered Eric. 'How did he know we were all awake?'
'Saw the lights through the window when he came home,' said a young
Sherlock. 'I bet you get flogged...'
Eric gulped. Getting caught wasn;t half so much fun as making whoopie,
then
there was a scuffle at the door and Upton sidled back in.
'He's in a terrible temper,' Upton told them. 'I have never seen him so
angry and yelled at us about moral responsibility and setting a good
example.'
'Blimey,' said a few faint voices.
'And he asked which of us had been downstairs and I said it was I, so I
have
been deprived of study privileges until the end of term. Bit of a bummer,
that.'
'Oh, poor Horace,' Eric said sadly. 'You have lost your cosy study? What a
shame.' Then he brightened up. 'But think! Now we will see far more of
each
other which will be lovely!'
The other boys all started vomiting on the floor.
end of 10 part one
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